I feel like I've spent my entire life
just waiting to get older and I finally
realized this summer that I'm not a
Russian or 19 is a good age I feel
incredibly uncomfortable when people I
know in real life find out about my
channel not per se because I'm nervous
by the content that I made but just
because I can't help feel like that a
huge part of the whole fashion and
beauty you think it's just incredibly
superficial and self-indulgent and that
makes me feel like a sellout no matter
how hard I try I make my apartment seem
really nice and aesthetically pleasing
as possible but I actually live in a
two-bedroom apartment with five other
girls so
[Music]
I was accepted into Stanford but I
turned it down to chase this film dream
at UCLA
whatever that means because I was afraid
that if I didn't I would regret it for
the rest of my life honestly now I'm not
sure which way everybody once in junior
year of high school and once last year I
seriously considered dropping out of
school when they unit so much
[Music]
one time of you yelled me and offered to
pay me a thousand dollars to take a
video of myself being a sock
[Music]
I brought in a super exciting town
whenever made me feel out of place
misty middlee I've gotten a lot more
comments about it once I go to LA I
remember on the first day of the first
internship I ever had in LA oh man tell
Danny amongst other sexual things that I
was a Chinese girl trying to be white it
terrifies me on a daily basis that I'm
approaching the age at which people meet
their spouses because I am single I
[Music]
offered to give up my qk citizenship for
any summer internship at the NSA I got
the internship although I never ended up
actually going to it
because I lost my passport and was stuck
in the UK freshman year of high school I
got kicked out Walton and for the boys
room not in a sexual way at all I was
just hanging with my guy pals which
turns out to be morally inexcusable when
you're that age as a kid I was terrified
of the furry creatures at Disneyland
because I knew that under the nasty
there was probably an angry underpaid
workers sweating his balls off
I have a real problem with stress-eating
I don't know what to do about it
[Music]
but as much as I enjoy doing this I'm
wanting my life to be about more than
fashion and beauty
but I think this channel could be that
I'm thinking of it or reading more kind
of videos like this and short films and
stuff I think that would be good I do
have hope that there's kind of a flicker
made bubble right now and eventually
people will just get fed up with it say
that's enough I think everybody should
work at least one job in retail or
fast-food in their life I think would
just make people a lot more considerate
I still watch the Daily Mail stop story
all the time and I hate myself for it so
much
I feel like I've spent so much of my
life be pissed all check four times that
I didn't need to live through I made
peace with Vivi single and I think that
it's really important to be single for a
good amount of your life so you kind of
are but at the same time I think falling
in love I checked my subscriber count at
least three times a day for yourself
validation
[Music]
control akin the father's next time you
like think about begin on