I feel like I've spent my entire life

just waiting to get older and I finally

realized this summer that I'm not a

Russian or 19 is a good age I feel

incredibly uncomfortable when people I

know in real life find out about my

channel not per se because I'm nervous

by the content that I made but just

because I can't help feel like that a

huge part of the whole fashion and

beauty you think it's just incredibly

superficial and self-indulgent and that

makes me feel like a sellout no matter

how hard I try I make my apartment seem

really nice and aesthetically pleasing

as possible but I actually live in a

two-bedroom apartment with five other

girls so


I was accepted into Stanford but I

turned it down to chase this film dream


whatever that means because I was afraid

that if I didn't I would regret it for

the rest of my life honestly now I'm not

sure which way everybody once in junior

year of high school and once last year I

seriously considered dropping out of

school when they unit so much


one time of you yelled me and offered to

pay me a thousand dollars to take a

video of myself being a sock


I brought in a super exciting town

whenever made me feel out of place

misty middlee I've gotten a lot more

comments about it once I go to LA I

remember on the first day of the first

internship I ever had in LA oh man tell

Danny amongst other sexual things that I

was a Chinese girl trying to be white it

terrifies me on a daily basis that I'm

approaching the age at which people meet

their spouses because I am single I


offered to give up my qk citizenship for

any summer internship at the NSA I got

the internship although I never ended up

actually going to it

because I lost my passport and was stuck

in the UK freshman year of high school I

got kicked out Walton and for the boys

room not in a sexual way at all I was

just hanging with my guy pals which

turns out to be morally inexcusable when

you're that age as a kid I was terrified

of the furry creatures at Disneyland

because I knew that under the nasty

there was probably an angry underpaid

workers sweating his balls off

I have a real problem with stress-eating

I don't know what to do about it


but as much as I enjoy doing this I'm

wanting my life to be about more than

fashion and beauty

but I think this channel could be that

I'm thinking of it or reading more kind

of videos like this and short films and

stuff I think that would be good I do

have hope that there's kind of a flicker

made bubble right now and eventually

people will just get fed up with it say

that's enough I think everybody should

work at least one job in retail or

fast-food in their life I think would

just make people a lot more considerate

I still watch the Daily Mail stop story

all the time and I hate myself for it so


I feel like I've spent so much of my

life be pissed all check four times that

I didn't need to live through I made

peace with Vivi single and I think that

it's really important to be single for a

good amount of your life so you kind of

are but at the same time I think falling

in love I checked my subscriber count at

least three times a day for yourself



control akin the father's next time you

like think about begin on